Awoken Men's Circle: Foundations of the Circle
Following are essential ingredients to creating a healthy and productive circle. Please review and sign at the bottom.
__ 1. Authenticity - This circle was designed with you in mind, not just some version of you, the whole real you! It doesn't always feel safe to be open or vulnerable which is why this commitment and each of the promises thereafter are so important.
__ 2. Non-violence - No matter how intense things get it is crucial that we commit to a non-violent approach to conflicts within the circle. When we commit to non-violence a world of possibilities opens for us to discover win-win lasting solutions and deep spiritual growth in the process. Non-violence includes words and actions.
__ 3. Healthy Assertiveness - The circle depends on you being assertive. Assertiveness means authentically asking for the things you desire and trusting your feelings to guide you as to when it's time to speak up, as well as when it's best not to in the hopes of not being overly assertive.
__ 4. Honest Inquiry - Ask questions out of curiosity and/or the need more clarity. Avoiding questions that are interrogative, leading, or rhetorical. Questioning can easily put people on the defensive especially when we think we have the answer or know better and when we use them to back others into a corner or otherwise make them appear wrong and feel inferior.
__ 5. Consented Feedback - Often we just need to share, be heard, and don't want other people solving our problems. In circle it is agreed that we only give feedback, critical or otherwise, with approval. When sharing it is your job to indicate what type of feedback you desire. When giving feedback to others it is your job to get permission first, assuming it hasn't already been granted.
__ 6. Humor - While laughter and good humor are always welcome, jokes and joking are not always received as intended. We must be careful with humor avoiding sarcasm and other forms that may be hurtful.
__ 7. Make It / Don't Take It Personal - Making it and not taking it personal helps us avoid triggering and being triggered by the words and actions of others. Make it personal by sharing directly from your perspective using "I" statements to express ourselves. Equally important is to recognize that each of us carries our own story that may contradict or even upset our personal beliefs and to allow for all ideas to come to the surface, we must not take things that others say personally.
__ 8. Confidentiality - To create a safe and strong container we need everyone to commit to complete confidentiality. Never speak of the members outside of the group. Not to your wife. Not to your best friend. Not even to your dog. This promise opens the door to be able to truly rely on each other in tough times and difficult decisions. Members who fail to honor this principle may cause other members harm, while also energetically obstructing themselves from doing their work and receiving the benefit of the circle.
Following are essential ingredients to creating a healthy and productive circle. Please review and sign at the bottom.
__ 1. Authenticity - This circle was designed with you in mind, not just some version of you, the whole real you! It doesn't always feel safe to be open or vulnerable which is why this commitment and each of the promises thereafter are so important.
__ 2. Non-violence - No matter how intense things get it is crucial that we commit to a non-violent approach to conflicts within the circle. When we commit to non-violence a world of possibilities opens for us to discover win-win lasting solutions and deep spiritual growth in the process. Non-violence includes words and actions.
__ 3. Healthy Assertiveness - The circle depends on you being assertive. Assertiveness means authentically asking for the things you desire and trusting your feelings to guide you as to when it's time to speak up, as well as when it's best not to in the hopes of not being overly assertive.
__ 4. Honest Inquiry - Ask questions out of curiosity and/or the need more clarity. Avoiding questions that are interrogative, leading, or rhetorical. Questioning can easily put people on the defensive especially when we think we have the answer or know better and when we use them to back others into a corner or otherwise make them appear wrong and feel inferior.
__ 5. Consented Feedback - Often we just need to share, be heard, and don't want other people solving our problems. In circle it is agreed that we only give feedback, critical or otherwise, with approval. When sharing it is your job to indicate what type of feedback you desire. When giving feedback to others it is your job to get permission first, assuming it hasn't already been granted.
__ 6. Humor - While laughter and good humor are always welcome, jokes and joking are not always received as intended. We must be careful with humor avoiding sarcasm and other forms that may be hurtful.
__ 7. Make It / Don't Take It Personal - Making it and not taking it personal helps us avoid triggering and being triggered by the words and actions of others. Make it personal by sharing directly from your perspective using "I" statements to express ourselves. Equally important is to recognize that each of us carries our own story that may contradict or even upset our personal beliefs and to allow for all ideas to come to the surface, we must not take things that others say personally.
__ 8. Confidentiality - To create a safe and strong container we need everyone to commit to complete confidentiality. Never speak of the members outside of the group. Not to your wife. Not to your best friend. Not even to your dog. This promise opens the door to be able to truly rely on each other in tough times and difficult decisions. Members who fail to honor this principle may cause other members harm, while also energetically obstructing themselves from doing their work and receiving the benefit of the circle.